Monday, April 11, 2016

April 11, 2016 Writer's Digest april PAD Challenge 2016/Defense / Defense II


you said i did it         didn't say exactly                  what it was that i did

said i was disagreeable    i was not aware               i am sorry

i did everything you wanted    trailed along            just to be with you

when the bomb exploded   you were right in there     enumerating my faults

resentments you held against me for years              i am so sorry

i was sorry then          am sorry now                       will always be sorry

you demanded i talk with her      i asked if we could talk later

                                                                                when we were not upset

that only upset you more        i thought if i didn't engage      it would not escalate

i am sorry                   i didn't know                         you have always been first

in my life                    i thought i showed it             but obviously

i failed you        you spoke of something                  that happened nine years ago

i didn't recognize your version    didn't recognize your words               i am sorry

i remembered it differently            it is hard to hold yourself responsible 

                                                                                   when you don't know

your intentions are twisted       beyond recognition       but I will accept all responsibility

though i have no idea               what to call them     how to name what you think i did

now it is all so complex       do not know how to resolve it      i can only say i am sorry

sorry for everything you think i have done                               you have made me your

whipping boy                       you blame me               for all that has gone wrong

with all my might                 i try to see as you see             try to draw a clear picture

you attack me                  where i am most venerable                  you play to win

no holds barred                no boundaries                            it has always been your way

April 11, 2016


Defense II

i try again to say             what i really have no words for          someone was offended

i was offended                two people dumped their shit             emptied their grey water

it was dumped on me      i retreated within myself                    still the shit hit the fan

all were hit                      without discrimination                       and no one was spared

April 11, 2016 


  1. You make a powerful effort to understand, and I feel the confusion, since the other's perception seems skewed. I have been in this situation, where the other has it wrong but is certain she is right. It is not a fun place to be. You have expressed this so well.

  2. Geesh, I guess the shit did hit the fan... :-(

  3. When there is a clash sometimes it feels impossible to create harmony again..we don't know the true anger..the true cause..sometimes perhaps it is love itself that makes us angry..i think dumping shit serves a purpose..eventually i hope i hope we can move on from that stalemate

  4. When there are differences between two, it can be hard to iron them out have captured that perfectly here Annell!