Time Passes
time passes with
age i soften so many times i have said...
oh, i couldn't stand
this... or that time passes things happen
the child
pouts stomps away petulantly as i am no longer a child
that is not an
option i take a stand hold firm
dig my toes into the
sand each wave washes over me
unsteadies me i
feel each grain of sand alive
washed from under my
feet as the wave rolls back to sea i get ready
for the next wave
as the wave reaches
me i jump into the air
laughing
time passes my own
mournful howls can be heard no longer soft whispers
my spirit
trampled i am dreadfully lost i limp back to shore
holding on to all
that is sacred i glance around the world is smaller
the maps must be
drawn anew acquire a compass locate a light house
a touchstone a
landmark the sound of the waves breaking split the air
crash onto shore the
sand is washed from under my feet as the waves roll back
to sea
time passes cover
my mouth silence the scream
does it come before
or just after cheeks flushed hazel eyes shut tight
these eyes are not
my own but your eyes sleeping now to wake no more
the rest is
deserved still letting go is hard for me
the small boy that
you were the young man the grandfather you will never be
each leaves a
scar a hole that cannot be filled no food can satisfy
i am less without
you many months pass i soften with age
June 5, 2016
Note: Tomorrow will
be the anniversary of my Son's death. In some ways it seems so long
ago, and in others, only yesterday. It was not the last thing to
happen, so many things continue to happen for each of us. Life has a
way of continuing, ready or not. With each loss, I think I cannot
continue to live...yet here I am, celebrating the life of my Son, my
Nephew, my Mom and Dad, my Husband, friends.....it is said, “we cannot know
joy without sorrow,” and sorrow comes to every life. It is up to
us to know the blessing, even in sorrow.
14 comments:
I do love how you blend the image of jumping in the waves with your sorrow... surely life is so much both...
Annell these losses sometimes feel unbearable. It has taken me almost 20 years to know the blessings in the sorrow of my dad's death. And even when I feel I can touch those blessings, I am knocked by those waves and sent spinning...thank you for this amazing poem.
I love the way this rolls like those changing waves.
I was right there with you, bobbing in the waves. We are frailer now than we were, and feeling the difficulty in keeping our balance. So many losses, Annell.....so many joys and blessings..............I love what you say about finding the blessing, even in sorrow. But these days, I think we feel the sorrow most.
Such sadness never leaves, it settles, just like the grains of sand on the shore. I deeply moving write. Thanks for sharing. I do hope with each anniversary of his passing you heart becomes lighter
A blessed Sunday to you Annell
much love...
I am so sorry for your loss Annell.. sending love and prayers your way.
Annell, this is an exquisite piece of work. You portray the reality of grief with vivid detail and incredible accuracy. The true sense of loss is palpable. I feel for you, for me, for all of us. Thank you,
Elizabeth
Very effective. As well as giving images of the sea and of withstanding surging waves, the poem itself has a compelling ebb and flow.
Grief is so personal, rarely can it be shared, sometimes we think we cope, at others not. Like the tides grief ebbs and flows but is always with us yet we feel alone...except with the memories.
First of all, Annell, hugs to you on this anniversary. I am with you in spirit.
Beautifully written piece.
Love,
Pamela
An amazing poem that has the force and the delicacy of the waves.. Wish you strength as you celebrate your son's life and come to terms with such personal loss.
This is profound from top to bottom and the note as well. I love the contrast between stamping feet and digging in toes. Yes, we are older and the world seems smaller, yet the sea is still huge and we can still tear up and howl--verbal stamping--until enough time passes. And even then. The waves pulling away the sand is/are the perfect metaphor.
Time does indeed pass and continue - i was heartened by your feet cooled and soothed by the sea - and the laugh - perhaps we feel as bad about laughing as crying which seems sad.. i can't imagine the sense of loss or lost but i know you are you and that seems special..not less - all my love to you and to your son today i am sure he is with you xo
Yes, we have to continue to redraw the maps as life unfolds. Somehow we move on despite losses, even though at the time we didn't know how we ever could. And true we have to soften with age.
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