Tuesday June 15, 2010

I awoke this morning a little saddened. I was disappointed at what the President said. I wonder if he understands the depth of feeling the people have for this disaster? I do want him to fix it, who else? We know BP doesn't know what they are doing. Sometimes I think I can't continue to live because of it. But then I remember, maybe it will give the US the will to get off oil, and hopefully we will never destroy our sacred planet like this again?

I realize I am on the "down-hill" of life, and in no way have much time. And as an artist, of course I must add my voice, but my responsibility is to do the best I can in the studio. It is my life's work and my goal, to visually add my voice. To mend my own heart and to do what I can to help mend the hearts of others. I think it is the responsibility of the artist to be the role model. It is not what we do, but our willingness to continue that will inspire others. There will be times we are disappointed, but we must go on. We have doubt about our own work. We might ask, what are we doing? What does it mean? No one cares, etc.etc. I am reminded of the poem we said as children, and it goes, "No body loves me, everybody hates me,....I'm going to eat some worms." Disappointment is another of those things artists have to deal with.

Yesterday was a busy day. I picked up several works at the framer, and dropped one off. Then, when back to the studio I prepared two pieces to go to a new dealer who has asked to see original work. I took my time in packing and blessed them as they were preparing to go on this journey. Some think that the creations we make are a reflection of who we are. But I think because we spend so much time creating them, they are actually a part of us. I have given them all I have and now I must let them go, to stand on their own.

Not long ago, I was experiencing some doubt about my work. And I was told by my partner, they are the product of a life time of work. I was reminded, I would not have been able to do this work, if I had not done the work leading up to this time. It is the best I can do. And it was my "job" to honor it. It's as simple as that.

So I returned to the position of gratitude. And I am, I am grateful for the years I have worked, and grateful for this place that I am. And grateful that I am able to work. What more could I want?

I started reading "The Desert Solitaire," by Edward Abbey. I have read it before, but since my work is based on desert, I wanted to read it again.