Emptiness
the day ends storm
clouds gather on the horizon all is quiet
except for an
occasional thunder or flash of lightening i have lost track
of when it last
rained the thirsty earth is waiting as i stand waiting
i watch the
horizon it is as though you have just disappeared from view
will reappear at any
moment as long as i live you will be here with me
today is your
birthday you would have been 50 hard to imagine
my son my little
boy a grown man
eyes of blue your
funny smile how wise you had grown
today is late
spring summer is not far behind with its' hot breath
in the
garden plays a familiar tune on the wind chimes still... before you
know it
another year will
pass there is no stopping time no way to fill the emptiness
wonder where you
are and how could this be i can make no sense of it
no myth or
fairytale can explain what has happened the bell tolls
a clear
peal summons worshippers it is not that i am unwilling
to live fully each
day but there is always a price to pay i have grown comfortable
with emptiness
May 22, 2016
________________________________________________________________________
No Streetcar Can I Ride
today
this minute
this hour
the air still
no breeze in sight
nor felt upon my
skin
no gritty sand
between my fingers
no fetid scents
no filthy faces
lonely
alone
lost
abandoned
in this twilight of my life
still searching
investigating
weighting and
measuring
trying to get at
“it”
...what is “it”
after all
still i am home
i work at home
no longer lost
sometimes found
the search continues
i walk in desert
sand
broke
broken
broke down
broke back mountain
broken heart
in this moment
breaking
skunk cabbage
grows in the
wetlands
grows in eastern
america
smells awful
i leave it for
skunks
...don't know if
they like it or not
each day the same
up early
make my bed
go to the studio
continue work
one day follows the
one before
like soldiers in a
parade
vow to meet today
where yesterday left
off
no streetcar can i
ride
the journey long
the time short
May 20, 2016
11 comments:
How I feel "the journey long, the time short". We keep doing our work. The clock keeps ticking. I so feel this poem.
I muse with your juxtapositions in the first poem, my favourite of the two
Happy Sunday Annell
much love...
emptiness rips the heart apart & i wonder if time is merciful...
I think a birthday like that has a weight of lead... so heavy your words.... yet they are... thank your for sharing.
I so feel the emptiness poem. "As long as I live, you will be here with me". How sad, the lines "you would have been 50." I know the feeling of finding emptiness rather comforting. A poignant and beautiful poem, my friend.
We do become comfortable with emptiness in a way - perhaps more so than loss? Each piece is precious..and I am sure he is with you in ever drop of paint and rain drop on its way...I admire the ability to keep on living very much
I echo Jae's sentiments above.. so beautifully written.
Very sad, Annell. Being comfortable with emptiness & knowing there is no way to fill it... And the birthdays are especially hard.
I can understand being comfortable with the emptiness, it marks the place where nothing else will do. Ever.
Elizabeth
You really pull at our heart strings with you beautiful emotive writing. We are always searching for answers to our questions knowing that we will never get them, but that doesn't stop us as love is so powerful.
Both, excellent pieces.
ZQ
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