In Dark and Hidden Places
i look for you in the woodland the desert too
most of the leaves have fallen the last leaves wheeling to the ground
the essence of sadness the color all gone the trees stand naked
quietly they wait for the first snow of winter transforms the landscape
i look for you at twilight day is done
voices low the fires burn i warm myself
night is not far behind without purpose i drift
like fallen snow tell my story once again search for someone
who will listen understanding hard to find
i look for you when the sun rises above taos mountain
it is lighter now i stand at the edge of the pool myself reflected
a woman grown old years too numerous to count still i collect the bones
from birth to death i wander in the desert i am fully awake
i look for you in one thousand dark and hidden places step quietly
breaking no twigs silently moving in the woodland fearing the beat of my heart
will give warning to those who thrive there an echo bounces
from the canyon wall untangles the mysteries the unspoken explanations
i look for you on the distant horizon for the dust that rises from your pony
years spent in the looking the search my passion plants whisper they have seen you
still the way is not clear i delve into ancient books you are the one
not my lover but my beloved my only son
October 23, 2016
Note: Never knowing where the words will lead when I begin, it is always a surprise. This time I used them all. Are there ever words enough to say, how much we miss the ones we love? To ask where are they? Where have they gone? Words enough to explore what we are thinking?
9 comments:
Yes, there are enough words when poetry and the muses expand their power. This poem is lovely and thorough and engaging and full of longing. You touch the mysteres and they untangle beyond words.
Annell, this is my new favourite of yours and I so resonate with your words. We will look for them forever, I think. This is so beautiful, the twilight, the sun rising above Taos Mountain - and the love and sorrow in every line.
I understand this so deeply, Annell. One does for sure try to find signs of the one who is gone everywhere that one goes. I think it is a search that many of us can identify with, and...if one hasn't been there, one cannot really understand. Peace to you, Annell.
To outlive your child... I can only imagine the weight of autumn then... so much heavier (and I can feel the weight)
you move toward an important truth for me - what our true relationships are with our children.
all love, i believe, originates in/from the same source. perhaps with our children boundaries are dismantled at love's inception.
annell, i hope your longing is, in ways, answered)))
I am so deeply moved by your poem, Annell. Wish you peace. xo
Much of you poetry you talk about your son and how unbearable it is to outlive a child. Parents never want that but you have often shown in your emotive poetry that that love never dies.
Incredibly mournful, tender and beautiful! I LOVE this: 'above taos mountain'.
tell my story once again search for someone
who will listen understanding hard to find
(sounds oh so familiar to me)
very very good write.
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