Monday, July 24, 2017

Haibun Monday

How I would have liked to follow the footsteps of Basho.  Would he have liked to follow mine?
Footsteps in the sand, in the snow, in the leaves, across the meadow, I follow behind.  You loved his words, and Issa’s too.

They step from the screen, and become “real life.”  In Japanese kimonos, of red and green.  With golden threads that catch the light.  You can see them there sitting on the hillside, creating poems, under a sunny sky or by the light of the moon.



The master reads his poem
The student follows with one of his own
The grass hopper looks on






Note:  I'm sorry but I didn't follow the rules.   I wasn't sure what was supposed to have 44 words?  My little paragraphs had more than 44 words, and my haiku had less.  But I wanted to participate, I bow and ask forgiveness.  And ask that you accept my attempt.

I didn't use a word to indicate summer, but the grass hoppers come in summer.  And I didn't know what the "cutting word" was?


  

14 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness Annell. Your haibun and haiku are perfect! :-) And grasshopper is one of the 15,000 season words. I truly enjoyed your haibun. I especially liked the equating the writers with the foliage on the hillside. That was really nice. I can just see the grass hopper perched on a leaf or a blade of grass winking wisely in the sun.

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  2. I love this post! The grasshopper at the ending is perfect!

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  3. I think you're thinking of the quadrille that has 44 words in all. There's no word count for the haibun, they just have to be good ones :) This is lovely! (and I don't know what the cutting word is either).

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  4. Nice haiku with the master, student and grasshopper each having a role.

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  5. I agree with Frank - a haibun with everything!

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  6. Really very lovely. You seem to have got it perfectly!

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  7. I think this is a splendid haibun - beautifully sketched and nuanced. To be honest, I've never had a haibun accepted for publication - though I've had a bit more luck with my tanka. I've been told by several publishers that the 'rules' on words and syllables with Japanese form poems have relaxed dramatically over the past few years. There are two reasons for this. One is that the genre has become so popular there is a lot of translation into other languages and, of course, the syllable/word count, becomes a nightmare, at that point. Also with the growing popularity, poets questioned being tied to a form that forced extra (or fewer) syllables into a piece, when they felt that in doing so, the work was not as good. Then, too, there's always good-old 'poetic license'. Smiles.

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  8. I think you did Basho just great. It's a wonderful haibun. You have elements of cutting and seasons sprinkled in here and there.

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  9. Love the splash of colors in the Haibun and all the characters in the Haiku. Beautifully put.

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  10. I too am fascinated by the art from Japan :) There is so much inspiration to find there.

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  11. I like how you imagined these Japanese poets! It's creative and vivid.

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  12. I really like the glimpses into the speaker's wants, the what ifs... And I love the haiku, the image of students and master sharing and being poetry.

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  13. Love the imaginative way you have written this poem, Annell. You have given voice to this unborn child.

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