Defense
you said i did
it didn't say exactly what it was that i did
said i was
disagreeable i was not aware i am sorry
i did everything you
wanted trailed along just to be with you
when the bomb
exploded you were right in there enumerating my faults
resentments you held
against me for years i am so sorry
i was sorry then am
sorry now will always be sorry
you demanded i talk
with her i asked if we could talk later
when we were not upset
that only upset you
more i thought if i didn't engage it would not escalate
i am sorry i
didn't know you have always been first
in my life i
thought i showed it but obviously
i failed you you
spoke of something that happened nine years ago
i didn't recognize
your version didn't recognize your words i am sorry
i remembered it
differently it is hard to hold yourself responsible
when you
don't know
your intentions are
twisted beyond recognition but I will accept all responsibility
though i have no
idea what to call them how to name what you think i did
now it is all so
complex do not know how to resolve it i can only say i am sorry
sorry for
everything you think i have done you have made me your
whipping boy you
blame me for all that has gone wrong
with all my might i
try to see as you see try to draw a clear picture
you attack me where
i am most venerable you play to win
no holds barred no
boundaries it has always been your way
April 11, 2016
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Defense II
i try again to
say what i really have no words for someone was offended
i was offended two
people dumped their shit emptied their grey water
it was dumped on
me i retreated within myself still the shit hit the fan
all were
hit without discrimination and no one was spared
April 11, 2016
4 comments:
You make a powerful effort to understand, and I feel the confusion, since the other's perception seems skewed. I have been in this situation, where the other has it wrong but is certain she is right. It is not a fun place to be. You have expressed this so well.
Geesh, I guess the shit did hit the fan... :-(
ZQ
When there is a clash sometimes it feels impossible to create harmony again..we don't know the true anger..the true cause..sometimes perhaps it is love itself that makes us angry..i think dumping shit serves a purpose..eventually i hope i hope we can move on from that stalemate
When there are differences between two, it can be hard to iron them out sometimes....you have captured that perfectly here Annell!
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