Forever
You said old or new
I think,…forever
Missing you
And yet…
It was important
For you to have your own path
Follow your own clowns
Time came too soon
I stepped back
And mourned each day
You were away
I have grieved your leaving
And have berated myself
For what I could not do
And I could not
Do it for you
I have to let you go
And this letting go
Happens everyday
Over and over
But my, have you changed by life
My teacher
My love
My Son
We enter the fifth year
Of your leaving
And in some ways
It seems it was yesterday
Footsteps in the hall
Your door closed
Your bed empty
Ripping a giant hole in this heart of mine
Grief so like an illness
Something you have to get through
Something that will be with you forever
Still takes some getting used to
January 22, 2019
12 comments:
"this letting go/Happens everyday": This line captures the emotion in such a palpable manner. However we try, it's not easy getting used to someone's absence. A deeply emotive write!
Oh this brought fresh tears into my eyes 😥 grieving and bearing loss of a loved one is difficult as we try to move on.
Not a happy time, I know. Sometimes thinking of a certain old Country Western song helped. "Thank God and Greyhound she's gone." Before was a part of life and both of us are better for it.
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Oops, I wrote my comment for a living separation. Sorry, Annell.
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((empathy hug)) to all parents who've lost children...
"But my, have you changed my life." Yes, he did. And grief is something that happens every day, as you walk through the sorrow of losing your beautiful son. It is hard to believe it has been five years. Such a long walk through heartbreak, and you walk with such grace and dignity, my friend. You have taught me a lot by how you make this journey.
I think a grief like yours will never leave you... five years can be forever and feel like yesterday
Five years or fifty, I think that kind of love will never let the grief go away. An amazing piece of writing and one that will remain in my mind long after I close this page.
Grief like this never stops. It renews itself everyday.
I am pleased that you wrote this poem.It always amazes me how someone in your position survives thrives and functions after losing both your husband and son.You are immensely strong and inspirational to all of us.
It is not what you haven't got that is important, it is what you had and remember that is. I lost my wife but it is what we did and accomplished together that is such a beautiful memory that is always cherished.
Time has little meaning when it comes to loss. This one digs deeply, Annell.
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